Here are a few elements of spaces important for creating spaces of emotional safety. Many of them have to do with being adept at seeing the “default toxicity” of our spaces. This toxicity is present everywhere. It is ubiquitous (i.e., everywhere) by the nature of systems of conditioning and disconnection (neurotypicalism, ableism, classism, heterosexism, etc.). A handful of practices that can contribute to creating emotional safety:
- Explicitly naming and acknowledging the systems of conditioning and disconnection at play in our social system and inviting analysis of how they show up in interactions. Centering this conversation.
- Analysis of default norms and values within our social systems and active creation of new norms that participants are committed to.
- Collective knowledge generation, sharing of facilitation, and centering of the group over the leader.
- Centering the processes and practices for working through conflicts rather than being conflict-free (conflict acceptance).
- Assumptions of difference. Just as conflict is an assumed part of group work, acknowledging that many differences exist among group members whether named or unnamed that create various needs, perceptions, and abilities – and which create possible hotbeds of conflict.
- Welcoming the truth of participants’ experiences in real time in a group able to be responsive to the truth of each individual’s experience.
- Active practicing of participants’ naming their needs.
- Diversity within space: provides comfort and ease for participants (e.g., lack of tokenism).
- Attention to the unseen psychological, energetic, and mental identification of toxicities in the space and in bodies in the space.
In the spaces that you are designing or redesigning, how do you address “default toxicity”? And what we haven’t yet discussed, how do we actually see this “default toxicity” so that we can rectify it?
Many of us are understanding that we have gone so much of our lives believing that there was something wrong with us – when in reality, it was our spaces that were not meeting our needs. When we enter spaces that are not a fit for our needs, spaces where our body is overwhelmed, we can call that space toxic to our body. Because systems of disconnection and conditioning pervade our society, many spaces have “by default” not met our needs and, therefore, have been toxic to us. Taking on the toxicities of all spaces we have inhabited through our lives, these toxicities “clog up” our bodies, often leading us to be “chronically overwhelmed”. This process of recounting the toxicities of our spaces is critical. Collectively and rigorously seeing the “default toxicity” within our past spaces (what I call “microsystems of disconnection”) provides us with intimate understandings of space elements that we can use to design or redesign our spaces of deep connection.
And there is so much more that we are learning we must unravel. What we often overlook in our spaces when we talk about designing spaces of deep connection where our needs are met is that which is much less obvious, the energetic space. To see all toxicities contributing to our spaces, we must be able to “see” and measure all of the energy of spaces (e.g., mental toxins created by racism, patriarchy; toxicities in our light, sound, air; patterns of disconnection that individuals bring with them). Fully seeing all toxicities, we can begin to understand where exactly our spaces (and our bodies) have been “clogged up”. Then, we can begin to experiment with moving that energy and unclogging our spaces (and our bodies).
Collective (movement) practice, which focuses on how we collectively move energy, then, is a powerful approach to designing spaces of deep connection. It is an often-hidden, ancient approach that many of us are seeking, studying, or drawn to, though we call it different things. I define collective (movement) practice as the collective practice of moving physical energy in a space to create the energetic conditions necessary for deep connection to be possible. I believe there is gold in the rigorous study of collective (movement) practice and these ancient wisdoms are here to teach us how to do our Work of designing spaces of deep connection. As we step into our full power to build spaces of deep connection that meet our needs, as we slowly uncover ancient wisdoms of collective (movement) practice, we all deserve the opportunity to learn the truth and the power of collective (movement) practice. Zooming out, we can see that, within this study of collective (movement) practice, there are thousands and thousands of years of ancient science, art, design, culture, and medicine guiding us as we build our spaces of deep connection. May we find each other, study together, learn together. May we fully step into our power as builders of spaces of deep connection. Join us at our Open House to collectively practice seeing the “default toxicity” of the microsystems of (dis)connection we’ve left behind and to co-learn, reflect, and share about how we use collective (movement) practice to design/redesign spaces of deep connection.
These ideas and questions are central to Raw Movement, an approach to inquiring about and experimenting with co-creating spaces of deep connection through collective (movement) practice. If you’re in the practice of creating grounding, deep connection, home, family, and desire to experiment with co-creating spaces of deep connection, find out more about Raw Movement at: www.rawmovement.org.
This writing is a part of my Conversations on Deep Connection series. If you’re also in the practice of creating grounding, deep connection, home, family and would like to get notified of new conversations, click here to get notified of new conversations.